Friday, February 14, 2014

A Craigslist Valentines Day (in Harrisburg)!

As the soft pillows of snow drift over the frozen corpses of hobos, the candlelit dinner I microwaved for myself turns my heart once again to love, and my fingers once again to type w w w . c r a i g s l i s t . o r g...
Celebrating one year as a resident of the wonderfully regressive Harrisburg PA, I decided to examine the various local Casanova's, and make my plans for escape. So without further fanfare, I present
A Craigslist Valentines Day (in Harrisburg)!!!!

I just started weekly theorapy. Need to talk to someone about it... - m4w

Crazy : Have paperwork to prove it.
So last December I started weekly theorapy. I don't feel different or see any changes. My family said they see a change though.
I am just looking fr some who is or was in long term theorapy about expected results or their experiences.
I am thinking of stopping due to the expense and the fact I don't feel different and just wanted some insight from others bout it before I make a rash decision.
Thanks for any insight. 

But Buzzsaw, what the hell does it really mean? Ah, damn good of you to ask hypothetical reader, damn good. As you may have noticed, this is a man deep in theorapy, which upon further googling, took me to a page defining "therapy"! Ha! But he says it three times, it must MEAN something! Yes, yes it does. It means that this poor bastard was not lying when he said "Crazy: Have the paperwork to prove it." And to that end, it makes our friend the last honest man on the internet, which is why he made the cut. Oh, and if you were wondering, of course this is about sex. He is in sex theorapy.


Man scape - m4m (Harrisburg )

Are you looking for someone to trim or shave your pubes or balls? Message for more details, include pic and age

Virgin - m4w - 20 (Harrisburg)

Hey guys im just looking for any women to take my virginity im tired of being a virgin i just want to to know what it feels like. Im 20 years old and in the surburban harrisburg area please email me with the subject virgin and a pic so i know which is real and not a scam. PleAse somebody im tired of me being the only one out of my friends thats a virgin. Pic for pic in email 

But Buzzsaw, why in the heck did you make me read that shit? What the hell? To that I respond that it was your choice to read about Ball Shaver and the lonely virgin. And my reason for featuring them together? Perhaps if they could meet, the virgin could get his balls shaved and thus greatly increase his chances of sticking his wang inside another human. Which of course is the end game really. Which is fucking weird if you think about it. Damn we spend a lot of time, in fact most our time just so we can writhe with other humans and make bizarre faces when you shoot various bodily fluids at our co-conspirator. So I digress, but it was a fun feature nonetheless if I do say so myself!


Medical services - m4m - 45 (Chambersburg)

age : 45
New to the area and in need of a male family doctor that can give a thorough medical exam. By this I mean a doctor that can take the time to really examine his patients (i.e., prostate check, hernia, etc). If you know someone, please send me the information.
I am also looking for a dentist. 

"I'm writing you a prescription for my whole hand up your ass!"

But Buzzsaw, why is this confusing? The man is looking for a "doctor" to jam things up his ass and cup his balls while he coughs, so why would is not be sexual? Well now, aren't you discerning! And that is exactly what I was thinking at first glance. Until the very end. That's right. The dentist. Now we all know that there is a turn on for everyone, from leopard print to being a victim of armed robbery, everything makes somebody ooze goo from there crotch. But dentistry? Nope. Not one person could possibly be turned on by it. So here we are, at a delightful impasse.


male lookin for girl(s) to lift - m4w - 55 (carlisle)

age : 55
male wants woman/women to lift no one over 150 apply. circus is coming to town and i am trying to get in as a circus strongman. but need woman/women to lift and carry. pays 30 dollars for about 25minutes of allowing me to lift and hold u. Various lifts. please send weight and picture. More info to follow if i get applicants. no clothes off, prefer woman to wear jeans or shorts since overhead lift would pull your blouse out of your pants prefer u wear blouse over pants.

Our friend, in his youth.

But Buzzsaw, what in the HELL do you have to say about a 55 year old man from Carlisle PA who is trying to act out fantasies about being an olde timey strongman? We both know damn well that there is not a circus coming to town, and if there were, what is his plan? To pop out of a hedge bearing his buxom beauties? Would they hire him? Fuck! To which I respond, nothing. I have nothing to say.

So there you have it, a Harrisburg Craigslist Valentines for the ages!

Love Buzzard

1 comment:

  1. "Theorapy"? My dad's cat's name is Theo. Should he keep him under armed guard?!